


Alone And Apart (are we really?)

by MagicHistorian



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, Dirk Is Depressed On The Inside, M/M, Minor Violence, Romance, Soulmate AU, Zombie/Apocalypse AU, but it's not the focus, it is a zombie au, the trolls are a migrating tribe, there aren't that many zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-09 10:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10410216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicHistorian/pseuds/MagicHistorian
Summary: John, for the most part, has been very alone for the last 2 1/2 years. Once his father was gone, he ran.When he meets a strange man around his age one day, he accepts the offer he is given and goes off to meet his new best friend, his mysterious brother, the strange group of people that visits once every two months and maybe a little something else he never expected to find.





	1. Barely Any Difference

**Author's Note:**

> I've been planning this AU out for a long time and am really excited to finally get it written and posted. 
> 
> I'd like to thank you in advance for reading and if you can (or want to) please give kudos. It means a lot to me. Thank you.

John Egbert sat in his room on April 13th. Today was his birthday and he was excited. Not just for the gifts and cake, but because a new video game called SBURB he had been waiting on for forever was coming out today. He'd pre-ordered it, so it was supposed to arrive He decided to go hang out with his dad for a bit while he waited for the game. Then he'd play it. That was the plan.

\---------------------------

  
_**DAY 1023- JANUARY 31, 2019 -16:24 LOG A** _

_Days since last human contact: 23 (January 8, 2019). Days since last mark: 59 (Dec 03, 2018). Food supply: Moderately low. More should be procured within 14 days to avoid temporary total empty storage. Water storage: Adequate. Procurement is currently unnecessary. Phone battery: 43%. Remaining triple duty chargers: 7. Keep usage to a minimum until the rare electrical outlet is available. Nearest enemy: Unknown. Targets out of sight range. Last encountered enemy: 14 hours._

_As of today, it has been 59 days since the last mark. I am a bit concerned. I am quite sure there's never been such a long break... I could write and see if there's a reply but I'm too much of a coward. Who knows what could happen. I just hope they're alright. Whoever they are. I'm going to make sure to look everyday._

_\--John Egbert_

\--------------------------------

A young man slipped into a darkened room, stride slow, like he was trying to approach a bird that didn't want to be caught.

"Hey bro." His soft voice called; warily, apprehensively. A grunt in reply.

"How are you doing?" Came the voice again, just as soft, just as gentle, trying to relax the bird, accompanied with a gentle touch on the shoulder.

"Shitty. What would you expect? I- well...you know." Came a bitter reply. Many things went unsaid. They didn't have to be spoken with vocal cords to be understood.

A pause; a collection of thoughts, pieced together to try and find the least painful words. "Of course. But...he's a tough guy. Maybe, there could be a possibility-"

"Thanks for the sympathy. But there's no point getting my hopes up. It's been almost a year. He's dead. That's all there is to it. That's what happens. And no offense, but I'd like to be...alone for awhile." he looked away, staring at the floor blankly at his hands. There were many things he wanted to say. Things that couldn't fit up his throat, blocked the rest of the words, letting only easy words through.

A nod from the first one before they made their leave. They knew their presence was no longer helpful.

\----------------------------------

_It had been a week. A week has never seemed all that long to John. Sure, the school days were always tedious, but the weeks went by at a reasonable pace, not always intolerable. No. Many days were nicer than not. Not all, but the good was still there. But after all that happened, every hour seemed to stretch into more than they should. After his house was stormed (it took only two days) and his dad disappeared, he went and took refuge in a grocery store for as long as he could. There were a couple dozen others there, people that had the same idea as him._

_It was a pretty good place. The walls were thick; the doors easily blockaded with all the large shelves and such. The windows were high up but easily reached with a janitor's ladder. There were three of those. The open parking lot was a good viewing scape and every once in awhile some of the tougher residents went out and dispatched a few._

_They came back, most of the time. The more fully dead, the less shit they had to deal with. In actuality it had little effect, but the psychological relaxation and relief was as or more important. They didn't want to think about how their meager efforts did next to nothing at all. No, they told themselves that each swing of a blade, each beat of a stick, each blast of a gun meant something. Told themselves that it was one less. One down, unknown numbers to go. After all, if their efforts went to waste, what was the point? Yes, they had to help. They had to be making a difference because otherwise, they had no point to exist, and they did not want to stop existing. Not yet._

_They also had a very strong supply of food. Considering it was a grocery store that made sense. They ate the frozen and perishables first. They had power, but if it went out then the stuff that'd survive would everything else, not stuff that'll rot in two days._

_That settlement lasted 145 days. In retrospect, John should have been surprised it held up that long, but at the time, it felt sharp and raw, the feeling of realization that they weren't safe. It was probably because the food was edging on a bit low, and that drove the more unstable people right off the edge. They started fighting and before anyone knew it, someone had snapped and shoved the blockades away. It didn't take long after then, with all the shouting._

_John had filled his backpack quickly and ran for it. He was lucky. At least, that's what he seemed to be. He wasn't too sure being lucky was really turning his favour._

_John could run a mile in eleven minutes on a good day, thirteen on a bad. That day, he finished the first mile in eight._

\--------------------------------------

Walking was something John was very used to. He had to do it for hours each and every day. It was tiring sometimes, especially on steep hills, but he could always stop and break. It was better, at lest, then staying put and feeling trapped. He was also used to silence. But even after over two years, he was always startled by sudden breaks of it. A crashing building, a scream, neither was terribly rare, but always startling.

And so, he nearly jumped a foot when he heard someone yelling at him. ....were they yelling at him?

"Hey! You there!" Maybe? He looked left and right, not seeing anyone. Was he hearing things?

"In the blue!" He's wearing blue...it probably was...but where is the voice coming from? Was there actually a living person around here?

"Are you fucking deaf!? You're the only one around for miles! I'm talking to you! I'm right behind you!" Oh. It was him. There was someone.

He turned around, and faced a young man about his height, covered in what looked like thick leather. A sturdy patch covered his chest, another his back, connected by thinner straps over the shoulder and on the sides. Two smaller ones rested on his shoulders and his kneecaps. Underneath the chest plate was a red shirt. In his hand was a long white blade, shiny and strong. Small flecks of candy red sprinkled the edge. John blinked. Something about this boy...felt right. Like, he didn't know him, but he just trusted him. Like a moth that landed on a light, but didn't burn, instead basking in the golden glow and gentle heat.   
  
"What do you want?" He reached back, ready to pull out his hammer. Brutal and effective, can guarantee a kill if a headshot is made.

The other raised his hands submissively, his sword gently set on the ground as an obvious act of passivity and lack of aggression. Those red flecks weren't quite about to be multiplied in number. "Man, I thought you were- I mean, you...uh...looked lost, and I didn't recognize you from town. And I know, like, everyone, cause I'm just that cool." He said in an ironically unironic way.

That brought John pause. "Town? There's one around here?" He was surprised. He hadn't seen one since that last one a few months ago. But, he'd thought they'd be more in bigger cities.

The boy nodded. "You must really be from somewhere else. All the loners stay away 'cause they think dealing with patrols is annoying and shit. Not that we're complaining, though. That just means less work for us. That or we're just too cool for them. Probably that."

"Do ya want to come back with me? You can. We have space and I'm done with my patrol anyways. And you look like you could do with some running water. How's about it?" The boy ran his fingers through his light blonde hair, secretly hoping the other boy would accept. He wasn't sure, but he was sure he'd felt a click.

John complied. He had no better place to go.

He took his hand, firmly gripping without being overbearing. A gentle shake. "I'm John. John Egbert."

The other boy gripped back, liking the soft feel of his skin, softer than his, with the leather on his palm. "Dave Strider."

There were many more unsaid words shoved down Dave's throat then, left to join the thousands of other thoughts he never spoke aloud. These ones were not understood, but they weren't those words. They were the unsaid words that would stay unsaid.

  
\----------------------------  
 ** _DAY 1027- FEBRUARY 04, 2019 - 20:03 LOG B_**

_As I have decided to make this town my current settlement (hopefully for a long time), I have deemed the need for data logging nil. While I will still update, I can cease the data. So as an update, I have found a home! From the start I could tell this will end better than that grocery store. Tall thick fences, lined on the inside with dozens of guards all equipped with guns. Past that gate was a moderate distance before a second, slightly less heavily guarded gate. This town is quite large too. I cannot really estimate, but it must be about a mile all the way across._

_Once in the actual town, I felt a lot safer, more like it was my old life. The boy showed me around with a quick tour (quite quick, I'm rather in the dark still about what is what for the most part) before taking me to the...town hall I guess it'd be called. We talked with his brothers. While this other guy is the actual holder of the title of 'Mayor', the oldest who strangely was known only as 'Bro' is more of an actual leader. The other one, Dirk is the head of patrols and second in command to his older brother._

_As a side note, the second I walked into the room with Bro and Dirk, Dirk gave me a strange look. It was short and disappeared quickly, but I could see it even with those pointy shades over his eyes. I wonder what it was and why. Maybe I'll ask Dave._

_\--John Egbert_

\------------------------------

John set down his notebook, and grabbed his backpack. He sat in his new home, a small apartment-like place near where Dave and his brothers lived. He opened the bottom zipper and slipped out a slender pen. When their home was first stormed, he has began packing all he thought could be necessary. He grabbed about 20 pens. He was very grateful for this choice.

He uncapped it and wrote across his palm, 'ask abuout D'. He looked at it, the wording sinking in, leading crude thoughts behind it. He worried for a second before deciding it didn't matter. It's not like they'd meet to discuss. He sighed sadly. The chances had already been low, and with this up and happening, those thin straws of chance had been halved and tossed to the wind, violent and relentless as always. Sadly, he re-capped the pen and slipped it back where it was.

He looked at his blue inked palm for a bit longer before dropping it to his side. He went to his dresser and selected his choice shirt and pulled it over his head, stretching before slipping on his shoes and exiting his room, locking it emphatically with the key from Dave that apparently worked on all doors. It was a safety precaution of course. Not for the humans, obviously. The real purpose crowded John's head, craving attention, but he ignored it. He didn't want to think about that here. It made it feel too real, made him feel like he wasn't really safe.

He noticed a light breeze, gently blowing his hair across his face before sweeping it back and fluttering his shirt. He loved the wind. It was unpredictable. It was always there, even when it isn't blowing. Waiting, almost, before starting back up again. Nothing controlled the wind, nothing stopped the wind, and John wished he was that free of it all.

Hearing footsteps, he turned. He saw Dirk walking down the path maybe twenty feet away. He called a greeting, but the other must not have heard him; he got no response. He seemed distracted by something, head tipped down slightly, hand gripping his gun. His face turned away, but his jaw appeared to be clenched. John didn't try again, preferring to go find Dave. He needed to talk to him. But as he walked toward the town hall (in hope that they were there), a body slammed into him, knocking him over and giving him a shock. He winced as his tailbone hit the pavement, and he blacked out for a few seconds. When his head focused, he sat up and looked down to see a girl probably his age, with long dark hair, laying on his stomach, obviously as out of it as he was. Her round glasses rested near her head; must have fallen off in the fall.

"Hey..uh...are you alright?" He asked, gently prodding her shoulder, rather unsure of how to deal with this sort of cliché situation after being in partial isolation for the most of nearly three years. He realized he must have softened a bit already, after only a few hours here. Normally he'd have jumped three feet if anything touched him.

She suddenly sat up and started looking around, her head cocked in confusion. John realized she was looking for her glasses and guided her wandering hand to their surface. She immediately grabbed them and placed them on here face

"Oh! Hi! Thanks for helping me, and sorry I crashed into you. Um...who are you? I've never seen you before!" She sat up and gave him her hand to help him. He brushed off his pants and replied, "I'm John Egbert. I uh...just got here yesterday." He smiled, cringing on the inside at his failure at quality human interaction.

She smiled, clasping her hands together. "I'm Jade! It's probably pretty weird here, huh. It's a difficult transition. Where did you come from? How long have you traveled? Sorry, I'll stop pestering you. I tend to talk a lot sometimes, when I'm excited." She laughed awkwardly.

He nodded. "It's fine. Not the strangest thing I've ever seen for sure."

She grinned, grateful that he wasn't put off by her wild personality. "I bet!"

They engaged in small chat for around ten minutes, discussing the small things, when a thought popped into John's head.

"Hey, have you seen Dave? Do you know who that is? I'm guessing you do since you automatically recognized me as an outsider but I mean I don't really know...."

She nodded enthusiastically. "I totally do! He's like, a good friend of mine! Want me to take you over to his house?"

He smiled and accepted. She grabbed his hand and took off running, him nearly tripping before getting into a rhythm. She pulled him in a way that reminded him of a dog pulling its owner by the leash in pursuit of some pointless chase.

She finally stopped at a building next to the town hall-like building he had went in the previous night. "He and his brothers live here, and he doesn't have patrols on Fridays, so if he's anywhere he's most likely here. Don't bother knocking, just go right in. They won't mind." She said, gesturing to the one-story building. "Let's talk again sometime, okay? Bye!"

Jade then bolted off with a wave. He waved back and stood in front of the door. He shrugged and unlocked it before turning the knob and pushing it open. She better have not been lying about just going in. He didn't want to start his first morning in town on the bad side of the more dangerous and influential looking people in town.

He walked in,to the main room, looking around. It was a rather nice room, furnished simply, but obviously designed primarily for comfort. Various posters on the walls. Plush chairs and a small couch in one area, a table and four chairs in another, with four doors leading off into other unknown rooms. Possibly bedrooms and bathrooms. He realized that it was probably their original home, and that this town was likely built around their homespace. That was lucky for them.

He cleared his throat and called out "Hey! Dave? You in here? I want to talk to you. Jade told me you live here."

The door on the far right clicked open, but instead of Dave, it was Dirk.

"Hey. John, right? What brings you here?" He stifled a yawn.

"Oh, I just wanted to talk to Dave. Jade, you know her right? Well, she told me he was here. Sorry if I woke you up..."

Dirk shook his head, and sat down on the couch and gestured for John to take the chair next to him. "I was already awake. Haven't really gotten enough sleep lately, but Bro and Dave are still asleep. Don't worry though, they'll be up soon."

John took the seat. "Thanks. If you don't mind me asking, why haven't you been getting enough sleep?"

A sigh. "I dunno, I've just been stressed out lately."

John fell silent, sensing the other's discomfort. Luckily, just then, Dave popped out of the room on the far left.

"Mornin' Dirk, oh hey, John. You gonna stay for breakfast? I'll make eggs."

"You have eggs?" John asked in confusion.

"Uh yeah? We have lots of chickens in the farm area. Did you not know that? Considering that blank stare I'm gonna go with a no."

John shook his head. "No idea."

"Well, now you know. How many, Dirk?"

Dirk responded with both hands raises, all fingers up.

"Ten?!" Exclaimed John.

Dave shook his head and sighed. "of course. We're teenaged guys. And since we have a guest I'll add another three. Hope you like 'em scrambled. Hey Dirk, will you get Bro?"

Dirk nodded and went to the door next to Dave's. He raised his fist and pounded four times. "Hey! Bro! Eggs! Get up! And we have a guest so you'd better not be naked or I'm gonna fucking deck you for making us seem uncivilized!" He turned back and jumped over the back onto the couch. "He'll be out in a minute. IN CLOTHES." He raised his voice at the last part and pointedly turned his head toward the door.

He was right, about both points, luckily. John was not prepared for nude men this early. At any time, really, but this early in particular.

The eggs finished quickly and they all sat at the table. There was a convenient fourth chair, the need for of which John wasn't sure but still grateful. they sat and ate, with idle chat mixed in; it was nice. John missed the feel of being able to just sit at a table with food there and ready to eat. And maybe the eggs were a bit more cooked than he preferred, but it didn't really matter. Food hadn't been this good or easy in so long.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_DAY 1028- FEBRUARY 5 2019 - 15:35 LOG B_ **

_Dave took me on patrols today, it was really fun! I was rather surprised at first at how few enemies were around, but it didn't take me long to realize why. Dirk is amazing! He is strong and the speed and effectiveness of his kills are mind blowing. I don't know how he is so skilled. He must have been trained beforehand, or had gotten lots of practice after the world ended._

_His sword is even shinier than Dave's; these Striders really love their swords. He isn't as good with his gun though. He always wavers when he uses it, and he only used it at the end. It's sure weird, but it works, I guess._

_While it was fun being on my own, it's a lot easier here. I liked the feeling of being the best around, even if only from lack of quality fighters. But I think sacrificing a bit of pride for a better, easier life is a small price to pay. Surely one I paid._

_\--John Egbert_


	2. Even Less Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets to meet the wandering band of strangers known as the Alternians.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to (http://archiveofourown.org/users/Gomachan) for helping me fix a few mistakes I overlooked! She may not have any works, but she is a lovely proofreader that found many big typos I would have hated to keep.

"John!"

"John, you're not gonna want to miss this!"

Jade shook his shoulder. Damn, he is a heavy sleeper.

She shook him again, harder.

A groan. "Finally!" She exclaimed. "It took me like five minutes to get you awake. I almost started worrying. How did you survive out there like this?"

John sat up in his bed, drowsily propping himself up on his elbow. "I wasn't a heavy sleeper out there. I-" he yawned. "Am just reverting I guess, I used to be a real pain to wake up. How did you get here?"

She ignored his question. "Hmm. I guess you really have to adapt out there, huh. Well, anyway! It's so exciting! You haven't been around long enough to know, but about once a month the Alternia group comes to visit and trade! And they're here! Once they finish discussing trades to Bro, we'll get to talk and hang out! Come on hurry up!"

John slipped off the bed and stood up, rubbing his eyes. "What's the Alternia group?"

"My goodness you really are out of it." She tutted, stepping aside to make room for John. "It's this group, last time there were 24 of them, and they're _really_ weird. Nice yes, but like, they wear fake clay horns and paint their skin grey. They never really explained why, so it's kinda a mystery."

John looked back, nearly slamming his gut into his short dresser when he wasn't looking. "What?! You gotta be kidding me. Why would anyone do that?"

"Nope, I'm completely serious. They live in the stuff, never seen them without the getup." She folded her arms, staring at him.

"That really is weird." He walked over to the small dresser and pulled out a shirt and slid it on, then looked back grinning. "I wanna meet them."

Jade bounced in excitement as he slipped on socks and shoved on some tennis shoes and tied them. When he finally finished, she burst out the door without refrain as John desperately jogged behind her trying to catch up with her impossible quickness and agility.

They sprinted along the path towards Dave's house, stopping in front of the town hall. She gestured toward the building. "They're in here, so we just have to wait until they're done. Bro always takes _forever_. He yammers on and on and _on_! And stupid things too. He just likes the sound of his own voice, I think." She scoffed.

John nodded in response, his attention fixated on the unmoved door.

After what might've been ten or so minutes, the doors finally replied to John's attentions and swung open.

Out strutted a young -and rather short- man in a bright red sweater. Like Jade had said, he _really_ was wearing stubby candy-corn colored horns and had grey painted skin. It was simply illogical and stupid.

Just behind him was a taller man in a white tee with slicked hair; it almost reminded John of Elvis. He had a toothpick in his mouth, a sign that he might've been a smoker. They were talking, saying something inaudible.

To his surprise, John saw extensive colored marks covering the taller one's arm. There were several lines of writing in both red and purple, and also what seemed to be drawings in the red ink along the back of his hand. He seemed as if he was trying to show them off, proud of his conversations. Perhaps, the red ink belonged to the one in an identically colored sweater that had exited first.

After them came another batch of equally grey and horned people. Some had marks, others not, some he couldn't tell.

John had realized awhile ago that he really liked observing strangers, seeing if they had visible marks or not. He had picked it up on his travels, he had supposed. It was a good way to get to know someone.

When one that looked alike to the first one came out, Jade perked up and ran up to him, immediately hugging him fiercely. John wondered if they were dating.

"Hey man." Called out a sleepy voice behind him. John jumped, before turning behind him. There Dave stood, hair tousled from sleep and a half eaten bagel in his hand.

"Did Jade wake you up too?" John inquired, stepping around to face his friend.

Dave snorted and took a large bite out of his bagel before answering. "Yeah. She practically shoved me off the bed in her frenzy. Once I told her I was awake she pestered me for directions to you home. And man, she is a tough interrogator. She got the place out of me really quickly, then ran off to your place to wake you up, it seems. Oh, hey. We have some extra bagels, want one?"

John's eyes lit up, and agreed ferverentely.

Once they had came back, John's hands now occupied with a bagel, the open space by their house had been filled with the alternians chatting up various townspeople.

"Jade says you wanted to meet them?" Dave asked nonchalantly.

"Erm. I did, but they look rather occupied and I don't want to actually-" He took a large bit of bagel in an excuse to stop talking.

"Well, you're gonna meet some of my god buddies anyways." Dave then took him by the arm and started dragging him towards one of them and John tried his best to not drop his bagel.

They stopped in front a rather pretty young woman; red glasses covering her eyes and a suspicious smirk playing on her face. "Hi Rez. John, this is Terezi. She's a good friend of mine. Terezi, meet John. He's cool."

"Hey, John." She grinned in a strange way, her voice high. She leaned forward in his face and John leaned back along parallel to her until he was unable to go farther without falling over. "You have a nice smell. You now that? Yeah. Something like...cake and blue raspberries. Hehe. Not as good as Dave though. Red as a cherry he is. Won't let me lick him though. Can I lick you? Hehe!"

Sighing, Dave pushed her face away. "No. John, don't let her lick you. Terezi, you aren't supposed to scare people. And that qualifies as scaring."

John stared at Terezi, very uncomfortable, then looked back at Dave. "Um. Are they all this weird because I'm not sure I-"

Dave shook his head. "Most of them are fine. The weirdest are probably Terezi, and this creep Gamzee and his bro Kurloz, but they're mostly pretty chill. Although, Karkat gets pretty loud when he's mad...and Vriska is a bitch. Oh, and Horuss has a weird thing for horses and Damara is pretty rude, apparently, but I don't actually know because Rufioh is the only one who understands a word of what she's saying. Rufioh likes wearing these fake wings too. Oh and Mituna has some problems up there cause of some accident a couple years ago but he's nice, and _never, ever_ ask Aranea to explain things, you'll never get away and...that's the most of it. Probably. I think I'm forgetting some, let me think..."

"No!, it's fine Dave, please stop." John waved his hands in front of him, desperate for the explanations to end. "I get it. Maybe you can tell me when we actually talk to them, how about that."

"Yeah, okay."

"So, how about you introduce me to some of the rest of them?"

Dave nodded, grabbing John off and tugging him over to two men just past Terezi that were talking to each other.

"Hey guys, I want you to meet someone."

The taller one, with a red mohawk and large fake orange wings, looked over, seeing Dave and John.

"Well, hey there Dave. How's it going?"

'This must be Rufioh,' John realized, observing the fake wings that Dave mentioned. 'Where do these people come up with the strange things they do? Maybe the apocalypse messed their heads up or something.'

"John. John! Are you listening?"

He cleared his thoughts. "Huh?"

"Weren't you listening? Rufioh was taking to you." Dave rolled his eyes.

"Oh. Sorry. What?" He looked up at the man.

"It's fine, doll. Just was asking your name." He smiled, and John felt a lot more comfortable with this guy than with Terezi.

"John. John Egbert."

"Nice name, doll. Hey Horuss."

The man next to him -who was wearing goggles- looked up from some metal contraption he was holding. "Yes?"

"Look at this sweet lil' doll. Such a polite thing. Kinda looks like that one guy, but just stands there with a nice lil' smile. His name is John, such a nice name."

The one in goggles, Horuss, looked at him.

"Hi, uhh, what's that?" He asked, looking at the metal thing in Horuss's hands.

"Oh this? It's um, a thing? I don't really know...just something to occupy my hands, hehe."

John looked at Dave, unsure about how to respond. He cupped his hand over his face, open toward Dave and whispered. 'Which one is that?'

Dave mirrored John's hand gimmick and replied. 'Horuss. The guy with a supposed horse fetish. He's not rude, just has social problems. Rufioh is trying to help him, he loves talking to people.'

'I can tell. And what the fuck is with those wings?'

'Don't even ask.'

'Ok.'

They resumed their positions; facing the pair.

"How's the group faring?" Dave asked.

Rufioh looked down, biting his lip. His voice softened. "Lost Damara a few weeks ago. And Tavros, my little bro lost both legs. We're really lucky to have dear Horuss and his brother with us. They're quite incredible with the metal, you know? Don't know what I'd do without him -I mean, them." He smiled at the end. "I was really worried about Tav-Bro, though. It really sunk in when they got Damara -of all people!- that all my best friends could die any day. It's really sad, don't you think?"

John agreed, feeling distressed just considering that his new, his only friend was at such a risk of dying.

Apparently sensing his unease, Dave blurted, "Well, I'd like to finish introducing John to the rest of you dudes, so we gotta scram. See you two later, ok?"

They nodded and the duo made their exit.

"Why are these people so weird?" John exclaimed.

Dave shrugged. "Aren't we all? And remember, they don't live in town. That may be at least partially responsible."

John paused, remembering how living out there had changed him, how those things made it so he would never be the naïve boy he had once been. "I..that makes sense."

Dave nodded.

After that they move on to Dave and Jade's good(?) friend, Karkat. That conversation had a lot of shouting and rapping, and John could tell they knew each other well. After that was Vriska, Gamzee and Equius. John was sure he could never trust muscles, soda, clowns or spiders the same way. He shuddered just recalling those large sweat-coated biceps, grey paint mixing with the sweat dripping off; practically begging to be caressed like the horrorterrors they were. John had resisted. Barely.

He actually enjoyed Kanaya; she was pleasant and easy to make chat with. He did have to work to ignore the large chainsaw she had resting next to her, but she was otherwise rather nice. She did leave early to go talk to someone named Rose, an inhabitant of town and Dave's cousin, to whom he promised to acquaint John with later.

\---------–-----------------------------------------------–---------------------------

As they were waving off the Alternians, John noticed Dirk conversing with the man who had come out first, the one with the red sweater. Dirk looked oddly stressed, otherwise John would have thought they were exchanging goodbyes. Curious, but not wanting to be nosy, he edged closer. (He didn't think about how his observant nature was -at that point- nothing _but_ nosy)

"-just keep an eye out? Either way."

"Don't worry, we will. And if-"

"Do what you can. Try to detain, but if you can't don't risk your lives."

"Don't worry, Dirk. We'll find him."

"Hope you're right."

The shorter one smiled and set a hand on Dirk's shoulder.

John wasn't sure what that exchange meant. Sounded like Dirk was looking for something or someone but he wasn't quite sure.

He really should talk to Dave.

He turned to the other but found just empty space. He looked around, concerned, but relaxed. Dave had only gone over to say his last few goodbyes. John was only paranoid.

He had no reason to be so worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really just an excuse for me to practice writing the trolls.


	3. Roxy's Blessing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this one is so short...

DAY 1045- FEBRUARY 22, 2019 - 12:45

Its been almost three weeks since the last entry. I've softened, it seems. 

I've met Jane, Roxy and Rose now. They are lovely people. It seems Roxy and Dirk are good friends. Roxy seems to enjoy a good drink once in awhile. Jane reminds me of my nanna. That same "hoohoohoo" and they both like baking. Rose is hard to understand sometimes, but she's nice. 

Somebody was killed last week. It was awful. I remember their mangled body. I'm not sure who it was. That's a good thing nowadays. Things are easier if you never knew the ones who died.

I think my feelings for Dave are getting to be more than platonic. I hope he doesn't care. 

No marks since that one time a few months ago.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dave sat up, setting his notepad down on the bed next to him. He turned and slipped off his bed and exited the room, already dressed, as he hadn't bothered to undress the previous night. He walked into the empty kitchen, quickly seeing the stark white attention-grabbing envelope on the mahogany table. 

He walked over to it and picked it up, seeing the words "to the Striders" written on the back in familiar pink cursive. He stuck his finger under the flap and tore it open, taking the note out. 

Dear Dave, Dirk, and Bro,

I'm hosting a party of sorts tonight at my house and hoped to see you three here. I knew you would all be sleeping when I came over so I left this here note! I can't wait so see you all. I've invited all our friends and it would be rude to decline! 

-With Love, Roxy

Dave sighed and ran his fingers through tangled hair. Roxy really was something, sneaking into the house just to leave a note, not bothering to wake anyone. He set it back onto the table for his brothers. Dave had lost interest in many parties awhile ago. But...John would be there. He'd go.

At John's house, he found himself with a similar letter, though his had just been slipped under the doorway. John smiled as he read the note. He loved parties. Especially nowadays. They really took your mind off things. Plus, there would probably be food. And Dave.

\-----------------------------  
It took John longer than it should have to get to the party. It might've been easier but the party was at night and he had already forgotten where Roxy's house was. He had always had terrible directional memory, but this was just embarrassing. 

Luckily, Dave had left early with Dirk and Bro, and had stumbled into a terribly lost John. He chided him, but they both knew Dave would never have left him behind. They were grateful to find that they weren't late at all.

They walked in to the house, blinking in the sudden brightness and the loud music. Roxy really did go all out for parties. 

The moment she saw the looked up and saw the four, she jumped up in excitement. 

"Dirk! Guess what!" Roxy shouted across the room. He ignored her until he had seated himself soundly on the plush couch nearby.

Dirk then turned around to look at Roxy. "If you want to tell me you need to come over here. I don't feel like walking right now. I'm comfortable. "

Roxy groaned, but complied. As she did so, Dave and John walked over to the food, eyeing all the things they were going to fight it out for. "Omgggggg Dirk. You're so stubborn. But, I found something while out and since I didn't really get you a birthday present or whatever, that I'd give this to you. I knew you needed it the second I saw them. I know you'll tell me not to waste it on you, so I'm telling you now that if you don't accept it, I'll cry. And I'm not even drunk. I'm dead out of alcohol. Like, completely. Soooooo, here ya go!" She nearly shoved a small box in his face. 

John turned slightly, curious. What could it be that Roxy was so anxious to give him? She seemed to know he'd like it, whatever it was. 

Dirk nodded in approval. "I'm impressed, Rox. It's actually nicely wrapped. Unless...you got Rose to do it." he looked up at her, one eyebrow raised. 

"Actually, no. I did it myself." She grinned proudly.

He nodded again. Slowly, he pulled the ribbon's bow apart and set it aside, before picking at each piece of tape. Roxy fidgeted. He looked at her before continuing his snail's pace. Probably with the intent to stress Roxy out and make her impatient. Finally, he pulled the box out of the paper and lifted off the lid. 

The moment he saw the contents, he flinched and shook his head. "No. Roxy. I...I don't need these. Give them to someone else. They're valuable. I-" 

Her bright grin melted into a stern glare. "I thought I told you I'd cry if you didn't accept it. And that grocery store had plenty left. I got as many as I could, but I predicted you'd fuss so I left the majority of it back there. And you know, Dave told me about how upset you were when you ran out last time! Said you wouldn't get up until they went in your room to find you sobbing your eyes off and desperately trying to make all your dead ones work. 'I don't need these' my ass. " 

Dirk sighed in submission. "I...thank you Roxy. It means a lot. Dave wasn't exaggerating. It...really sunk in right then. When the last ones died, ya know? So...I-I...thanks." He rubbed at his eyes with his arm. 

John blinked in surprise. Was Dirk crying? What did Roxy give him that made him so upset? She mentioned something about 'dead ones', was it like an animal? That didn't make sense though...he shook his head, he had no right to butt in. Maybe he'd ask Dave later, but he didn't want to seem nosy. 

He turned back to where Dave was conversing with Rose and after an hour of party and food, the thought of Dirk completely left his mind.

At what seemed to be the party's peak, Roxy burst back into the main room, her grin fully restored, two large glass bottles in her hands. 

"Guys!" She shouted. "I found booze!" 

The group of people groaned. They knew Roxy and her drinking habits. Many were rather surprised it had taken her so long. 

Roxy quickly poured a large pint and began chugging it. Many others got their own glasses, seeing that if they didn't hurry Roxy would take it all for herself.

Soon, the only ones without were John and Jane. Jane had long since fully banned herself from alcohol and had kept it up for years. John was being persuaded by Dave. 

"It's fine, man. The Irish Cream one? To die for. It's like heaven. Sweet and creamy, but with a little burn going down. I've only had one glass, I'm not that tipsy. That's Bro. For such a tough guy, he really can't hold his alcohol. It's almost funny how fast he gets koncked. Just a glass, pal."

After a pause, John gave in. "Just one, alright? No more."

Dave cheered and poured a glass and handed it to John, nearly spilling some. "Cheers!" He cried, clicking their glasses together. 

Once their glasses were empty, Dave rested his arm around John's head, grinning like a spoiled child. 

"Love you, buddy." He chuckled out. 

John looked over. "What?"

Dave turned away. "Never mind."  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dave blinked awake, the surface he had been sleeping on comfortable, but unfamiliar. He felt a jolt of panic and bolted up, blanket slipping from his torso. He then groaned loudly, stabs of pain piercing his forehead. A layover. He cursed. After looking around for a second as his head focused, he relaxed and laid back down, hand over his eyes. He was only in Roxy's house. He must have fallen asleep at the party and Dirk and Bro were too lazy to wake or carry him. Stupid jerks. He'd get home. Eventually.


	4. Love Is A Beautiful Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked writing this one. It's a bit cheesy, but still fun.

Dave had always been told that love is a beautiful thing. He'd accepted that when he first heard it, as most young children do, not really getting the meaning. He loved his family; father, mother and brothers. Why wouldn't he? He knew what love was. Wasn't that what they meant? But he had never understood the 'beautiful' part. Love is a feeling. It can't have beauty. Right? When he had asked about that, his mother had only laughed and told him "you'll understand when you're older." He had waited a long time for the day his mother's words would come true. Such a long time.

He remembered the first time he'd seen a mark. It had been when he was 10. His parents were overjoyed. Dirk scoffed, saying he had gotten his when he was 8, and that his person was probably better. Bro just patted him on the shoulder, gave him a thumbs up, then disappeared off somewhere. It took an hour of courage-mustering, but he finally wrote back. He then spent another hour writing back and forth, discussing things like favorite colors and food. Nothing specific, never personal. His parents never asked, and he wore long sleeves for a week after that.

In truth, after his parents were killed and he ran off with his brothers, love had left his mind. It didn't matter in a rot infested world where love would get you killed. Too many people that he had known died because of another. Dirk and Bro seemed to understand, but never Dave. He didn't get it. He told himself he wouldn't even bother trying to love.

And after a little over a year of making that promise, he had broken it. He had never been the best at promising himself things.

Dave had been thinking all those things as he sat alone on his couch, arm raised above his face, casting a shadow on his face and chest. The hand then flopped to his side as he sighed in surrender to himself. he was sick of avoiding it. He slid off his couch and nearly landed on the ground. Adjusting his shirt, he walked over to the door, slid shoes on and walked out the doorway.

The day was windy, Dave noted. He glared at the sky as he walked, hands desperately trying to cover bare arms, teeth chattering, body shivering.

When he reached Roxy's door, he knocked only twice before met with Rose's face, pleasant yet blank. "Hi Rose. It's cold. Let me in." He chattered out, and she smiled before stepping out of the way to let Dave dash inside.

He took a deep breath, mentally making sure this wasn't a really bad idea, before stepping into the kitchen where Roxy was making tea. "Hey Rox. Can I talk to you about something?"

She turned and looked at him, holding three cups of tea as if she had known he'd be staying long enough to drink it. "Of course." She turned toward the other room, raising her voice. "Rose, Dave and I have some important stuff to discuss, so would you please go entertain yourself for a short time?"

Rose nodded in agreement. She took her tea and walked off into her room.

Dave took a seat at their table and Roxy joined with the remaining two steaming mugs of tea in her hands. "Alright. Shoot."

Dave took a breath and a sip of tea. Sweet, with a touch of bitterness, just the way he liked it.

"I think I like John."

She nodded. "Yeah?"

"Like, _like_ like John."

Roxy grinned. "Young love, eh?"

He opened his mouth in protest, but closed it when he realized she was, technically, right. "I...er..yeah. I guess. But...I don't know if he likes me back or if he's my...you know."

"Hey Dave."

"What?"

Roxy dumped a large spoonful of sugar in her tea. "Did you know Rose found her soulmate last week?"

Dave almost dropped his cup. "Really? Who?"

"It was that one lady she befriended in the Alternia group, the one with the chainsaw and short hair. And you know how she found out?"

"No."

"She asked. She wrote on her arm to ask."

He glanced at her suspiciously. "What's your point?"

Roxy took a long drink. "If you want to know if he's your soulmate, you have to ask. It'll be stressful, I know. But it's better than sitting and letting you worry fester. If he is, then good for you. You two can go be happy. But even if he's not, you can still build a relationship with him, platonic or not. It's possible. You know I know from experience."

Dave sighed and rested his chin on the table, hands stretched across the table.

"Do you want to tell me the most recent thing they wrote?" She inquired.

"Uh, it was something like 'ask about D'. I don't really know what that means though. Something weird, or whatever."

She stood up. He looked at her in confusion as she walked into the kitchen and pulled open a drawer. She grabbed something and sat back down.

"Here." She said. It was a pen.

He grabbed it and clicked it open. Red ink. She knew him well.

"Write. Ask them what they meant."

"Huh?"

"Do you remember how soulmates work?" she asked, eyebrows cocked.

"Uh, yeah? Doesn't everyone?"

"Tell me then."

"Uh, anything they write on their skin automatically shows up on your own skin as well, and like, vice versa?"

"Exactly. So, _write_ to them. Say, 'what was that question about?' Or "why did you write that?' Or something."

He turned over his arm. He paused, then scribbled out with his best writing, " _what does 'ask about D' mean_?"

He exhaled. Had he been holding his breath the whole time?

"Now wait. Be patient. And don't jump to conclusions after five minutes. Lots of things may be the cause. Just because it takes half an hour doesn't mean they're dead. How about you stay for awhile. Read a book. We have plenty."

"Thanks Rox. I think I'll do that." He sat down on their couch, trying desperately to keep his mind off his arm and his stomach full of butterflies.

_________________________________

John sat, much like how Dave had sat, on his bed, desperate yet bored. He had been nearing the point of giving up on his silly crush, but what Dave had said the previous night stuck with him like many other things that should be forgotten because they rarely mean anything but just can't be given up on because _what if._ That nagging thought is cruel. it is easy to succumb to and rarely brings good. But as John sat there, he thought 'what if? What if what he said wasn't actually just a slip, a random murmur set free in the hazy stupor of drunkenness?'

He turned his head to press his cheek into the blanket when something on his arm caught his attention. He lifted it into his vision and gasped in shock. He stumbled off the bed and knelt in front of his bag, grabbing his lovely blue ink gel pen. he uncapped and -in his best writing- scribbled a reply.

_____________________________________

After ten minutes of comics and boredom, he had finally gotten what he wanted. "Roxy!" Dave shouted.

She ran over, understanding without an eplanation.

Blue-inked letters formed along his forearm. " _I've noticed something a bit odd about a friend's brother and was reminding myself to ask. You haven't written for awhile, I was a bit surprised."_

Dave took a deep inhale. What if... He statured himself and uncapped his pen.

" _Can I ask you a question?_ "

" _Sure_ "

" _Can you tell me your name"_

" _Can you tell me yours?"_

A short pause. He turned his arm over, exposing the uninked flesh on the back of his arm.

" _Dave Strider"_

He then waited. And waited. After about three minutes he spoke up. "Roxy...they aren't replying...."

She rested a hand on his shoulder, feeling it quiver. She wasn't sure what would feel comforting, and what would just sting.

Then they both jumped as the front door slammed open.

_____________________________

John had been concerned for a few seconds, not getting a reply after such a moment. He could feel his stomach twinge from suspense and nerves. A small bead of sweat formed on his forehead, making it more oily than it already was.

He then felt a something, like a message from intuition. He turned his hand over and froze in shock; disbelief. He stood there, scarcely able to breathe.

He slipped on his shoes and bolted out the door. When he reached the door to the Strider home, he pushed inside and had barely skidded to a stop when he spluttered out, "Where's Dave!" He shouted, more demand than question.

Bro looked, to say the least, surprised. (He also looked half naked. Gross.)

"He's at Roxy's I think. Uhhh, Isn't that right, Dirk?"

As soon as he heard Dirk's voice calling a 'yeah', he ran, without a word of explanation or farewell.

After the previous night, the route had been engraved in his mind and it did not take long at all to reach Roxy's home.  
  
He shoved the door open violently, dashing in.

Dave sat up from where he had been slouched over.

Everything seemed to slow when they made eye contact. John went to a standstill and Dave straightened fully.

"Uhm, what brings you here, John?" Dave asked nervously. Hopeful, yet scared.

Instead of replying, John looked at his wrist, the back facing out so that only bare skin could be seen. Except for two red words on the back of his hand.

John pulled a pen from seemingly nowhere and wrote something on his concealed palm. He took a few steps forward and turned his hand to show Dave.

Out of instinct, Dave looked at his own hand. He knew he didn't need to though. He knew that their palms matched, those two words " _I'm here"_ on bothpalms.

And yet he looked. A perfect match down the to each and every single stroke.

"John."

"Yes, Dave?"

When his reply didn't come, John pulled Dave into a tight hug, firm and warm.

"I love you."

John blinked, then grinned. "You're sober this time?"

"Completely and utterly, I swear."

"Love you too."  
  
_________________________

Roxy was trying very hard at that point, as she stood there in the corner, trying her very darnedest to not squeal, or crypt or both. But she wouldn't ruin this. She was the punchline far too many times. But not this time.

Behind her door, Rose smiled to herself. Her finding -as she called it- was even more subdued than theirs, but she knew just how deep those feelings were. Like electricity.

Bro and Dirk, remained, in their home, as they were before John had burst in there. Nothing had really changed, but there was something, a slight change. Like when the temperature goes up but by so little you scarcely notice but still feel all the same. They knew it was John, and knew if was Dave, and if they were smart (as they surely were) they would put tow and two together. It wasn't that hard.

Jade had no way of knowing, of course. But -as pure coincidence- she has been thinking about to them. She decided that they would be but a _lovely_ couple. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many fics have Bro being an asshole (for good reason of course) but since it's a different situation, Bro is a chill, cool (albeit not always fully dressed) guy.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that while this is a Zombie AU there is very little zombie-ness. That was intentional. Partially because the zombies aren't the focus, partially because of a style I'm trying to implement.


End file.
